The road... and its ways..

I run hard to dodge the two horid beasts that are chasing me. I cut a sharp right and stumble upon a wooden pew in the dark ally. The night is at its fullest bloom and death chasing me down in the moonlight as the rains drench me to the bone. I look behind to see if the beasts are still on my trail and to my horror the distance between them and me is shrinking by the second. I could sense the cold death nearing. Just a matter of few seconds and ill be done. Gasping for breath I run for my life. Heart pounding against my ribs and blood gushing every single vein in my body. The beasts are now about to make their final leap and just then.....

BEEP BEEP.... BEEP BEEP.... BEEP BEEP....

The Alarm clock showed 4:30 AM (Snooze/Dismiss)....

I wake up with bloodshot eyes to dismiss the alarm and lay on my bed thinking about the dream. With messed up hair I get out of my bed to the cold early morning breeze at the window to stare at the stars still twinkling bright in the night. The moon was nowhere in sight in the sky. I walked into the wash room to soak my face with cold water and get myself ready for the recording that begins at 6 AM sharp at Spectral Harmony.

"Ashwin was supposed to wake me up..." I pondered, as I searched for my cell to buzz him and wake him up incase he would still be dreaming the night away.

"Ashwin.... its me.. are you up dude...?"

"Yeah dude.. I was just gonna call you up.. but whatever.."

"5:30 at the station right....?"

"Yeah Mango.. Sharp at 5:30. Borivli Station. Dont be late yaar...!! Please.."

"No I wont. I'll make it before time. See you there"

I looked around in the empty room which was filled with silence and spotted my towel. I headed off for a shower and let cold water gush over me. The chill helped me shrug away all the lethargy and rocked my senses back to normalcy. I dressed up and snatched a packet of muffins from the cupboard and dumped it in my bag. I took the keys and started digging my drawer for a pair of socks. Struggling hard to find one I removed my slippers and left them near the sofa. I didnt have an option but to wear the already worn out chappals. I looked behind to give a final glance at the house before locking it shut. I loaded my shoulder with my black six stringer and flipped my carry bag alongside with its belt coming right across my torso. I pulled the door shut and stepped out in the dark.
I walked the bumpy road, with shrill dullness as thousand thoughts cut through my mind. The road to make the band was so relevant to that road which I was treading. I walked the lane which was shrouded with bellowing darkness and my feet rubbed harshly to the uneven mixture of gravel and sand giving out the typical rugged sounds. I remembered the time when the band was just a thought and from that little dream to making it possible was such an effort. As I walked with my shadow falling right in front of me I could see the reflection of all that I had sacrificed for making it happen. That cold morning I realised how uncertain the future was. I didnt know where this journey would end. And how long will it make me walk. But the fact remains that the band did come up, it did shine, it did make its way, through the hoard of other bands. It was an accomplishment of sorts. As I reached the end of the by-lane and halted a cab to head me off to the station, I knew this was worth giving a shot. The band had seen so much, but it stood strong. Because it had a purpose and the purpose is... that you never give up. You never let go. Things happen and you can make them happen. Even through the darkness 'We' walked. The journey has begun but its far from over and I wont quit. I wont stop walking. I wont look back, eventhough the road is bumpy and dusty it still has given me a way. My way. Coshish.

Every note that we ever played, every song that we ever made, every fuck-up that we detested, it was worth it. And I knew, at that very point when I was on my way to the station, there would be someone, somwhere, conceptualising a new dream, that would be worth a try. And I hoped he would make the worthy choice. He would not let go of it, but grab it with both hands and realise it. Because there are somethings that we do as they have a reason, some, because they are obligations, while there are a few things that we do because we are responsible but there are only a handful of things that we do not because they have a reason or obligation or responsibility, but because thats what we love to do, thats where the passion flows in, thats where reasoning ends and freedom begins. I have no reason why I did Coshish, I had no expectations from it, I dont have a logical explanation as to why did I sacrifice so many things for it. All I can say is that, I am glad that I did it. And after all that people say after listening to it, all the opinions good, bad or ugly, are things set in motion by it. Honestly, you dont care, because you know what you have created is not synthetic congregation of notes or random accumulation of words but it is every drop of passion that you could ever collect and punch it in a song. Thats as simple as it gets. The mixture of passion, love, freedom, fear and fire drips down like a droplet into one creation.
For anyone who might come across this, look inside of you and see where is that small dream lying. Find it, something that you always wanted to do but you let it go for things more sane but those that you never did like or enjoy. Its just one life, and you have that one dream, give it one shot, and see.... The road is bad and bumpy but its a road which has a way... Take it.

Fire

the waves subside
and i hide in my cocoon
the silence starts to squeal
the empty rooms fill

i look around and see images
yet to happen but foreseen
in my cocoon
i wait. patience.

then she comes in
the patience pays
she walks in
like a soldier who has all seen

then it ends
and the game begins
i rise and break
the cocoon from within

i guide her into the chamber
of the newfound castle
we move into the box
the surprises will unfold

as we lay under the pseudo sky
yet to begin as we lie
in the mist of her fragrance
the purity soars and converge

time splits and vacates
million thoughts in me rage
we dive together
behold. the sacred sin's begun

shapes cut through the darkness
sense and smell guide
then i cut her into half
and fill her with mine

she rises high
under the pseudo sky
where i fill her
for what i missed

she surrenders
my new found slave
for the stimulus
and the tender whiplash

she gives in
at the highest point
but tries to hide
all in vain. a slave atlast

i rise again
like a phoenix so pure
the fire burns again
as she begins to crave

the veins filled now
with love obscure
passion drives within
her moans belowing

i complete the circle
not to begin
the soldier she was
witnessed the unseen

she is till warm
with the fire i unleashed
trying to negate and hold
her fragile frail

the phoenix subsides
lost and cold
trail of ashes and dust
lay where the fire began

back into the cocoon
from where it rose
waiting again to unfold
patience. i wait.

Hows Life This Festive Season...?

The sensex is falling down. It is skydiving at different locations on the globe. And, it does'nt stop there, it then goes scuba diving.
Where are my under-water goggles?? Must find them for better visibility down there.

The Planet is more warmer this festive season. Maybe, just a couple of degrees, but its evident. And yeah, no ice-caps at north pole this festive season. Santa's gonna have a tough time with his thick red suit on...
Damn...!! Where is my ice..? I need more ice in my drink during christmas...

War still rages on... and on... and on and on... and on... and on.... Suicide bombers keep blowing up buildings down, all around, all the smell (Blood & smoke...) and the sounds, round the clock, svereal towns....
Peace...

Countless died in floods in India this festive season. They are still homeless and hungry too. But I guess someones taking care of it. It took the countrymen some 3 weeks to understand theres flood and people are dying. Sure, thats quick.
Please dont disturb me, I am busy counting the world casualties.

Animals having a tough time too, this festive season (Yes, we almost forgot there are animals on the planet too... right?). Reports say there are four mammals nearing extinction. Just four this year guys. What difference would four species make to the planet....??
Pssst.... What about the mammals that are already extinct and we dont even have a clue about them...?? Well.. they are all... but.. dead.

America is going to vote this festive season.
Amen.

Apart from many other issues, rest seems to be fine this festive season. This is how life is, this festive season. Maybe, ill try planting more trees this festive season or spread awareness about recycling plastic, but its not enough. Because, we love to talk, comment, suggest, ponder, fight, criticize, loath, despise, hate. But we never like to make, protect, create, innovate, inspire, begin, love, unite.
I hope a time comes when the festive season would be a festival not only for me or you but for all. How can we celebrate when so many are suffering at the same point of time? Maybe helping them would be a good way to celebrate this festive season. Lets do something, anything, in your power, that can make a difference, for the better, good or if possible the best. Lets change slowly but gradually. Lets share. Lets get it started. Lets do it now. Lets begin. Nobody said its too late to begin. I know, this sounds fun, so lets have a blast then. Lets "Celebrate" the festive season.

Cheers....!!

Pearls of a snapped necklace...

She was my half....

Like a shadow on the crescent moon... I was the soul of her mortal frame....

She was the fragrance in my air...
We were inseperable like time and space. I was the void in her vacuum. I was hers and she was mine. And when she left, I died. Not once but twice. And nothing more but the most pristine emotion of human nautre, sorrow, stood solid, paying respect to the exequies of my love.

I fell down like pearls of a snapped necklace..... Scattering and falling apart with dismembered uncertainty.

What pity...!! Even my most honest feelings couldnt stop her from leaving. I would've loved her even in my penultimate years where every morning opening my eyes to the new sunshine would need a grinding effort. Eyes which stay closely shut through the cold nights in the mist of unfulfilled dreams and death.

Blogs came from stone age...

Now....

Blogs are in... everyone wants to do it. But why?? (am one too... got in rather late..)

its so stupid.. to write something which makes no sense to anybody's life. And, we expect them to read. Duh....!!!

Well, am I complaining? Well... the answer is...

WHO CARES....!!!!

Humans have this inane liking to scribble crap on the walls. They are doing this since 'Stone Age' (Was it better than our age... who cares...!!). All of us have done it. Hey...!! you too have.... remember those days in nappy when you took the dreaded red crayon and scribbled the walls roughly at 2 and a half feet above the floor. Aa... Now you remember... See, this habbit is still thriving. Now you see... ehh. Its nothing new. The stone age man blogged too.... he was the first one to do it... on the walls. How Sweet...

('Flashback' to the Present...)

... we think we are adults (I dont... am still 14). And, that means, we dont have the license to scribble the walls any more.... So what do we do now...?

(All must ponder for a 30 seconds...)

Hey.... You know what... this aint the stone age.... so lets make something to scribble on....

Abra-ka-dabra (How lame....!! But who cares....?)

Behold......!!! Here we have.....

(Drum roll in the background...)

"THE BLOG"

And now, that we have this infinite wall to scribble on... everyone liked it so much... that it came out again... well... it never left us... (dont you know?, habits never leave...)

Yes...!! Lets Scribble...

And this is how the story goes... Everone is scribbling the walls and nobody reads it.... but who cares... we still keep scribling..... (sounds like sibling... do you care?) and we will till eternity... and maybe someday.. they would look at the fossils and think...

"How Incerdible..!!"

But for now nobody is reading... yeah.. so fuck off... what do you think you are doing here..?

(were you reading....?)

Dont you know, 'nobody' is reading.....

You Never Know When Love Comes Again...





The Call...



It had been more than two years that I had fallen out of a relationship in which I must admit, I was more than seriously involved. And I never thought that I would love someone again. But you never know what life has in store for you and it had a surprise for me too. One fine day I got a call from someone needing a guitar tutor. It was a sweet voice and as we spoke I answered all her queries which put us on for a session in a weeks time. I had to travel to one of the posh localities in the city. I rang the door bell and after a few passing moments a lady answered the door. She gave me a puzzled "Yes..?" and I responded her by asking, "Did someone here need a guitar tutor?". She nodded and asked me to come in and and take a seat. She vanished inside the many rooms and I was waiting with thousand thoughts running through my mind. I was totally lost in my thoughts when I heard a voice from behind, "Hello...." and I turned to see the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. She was fair with almond eyes and a mischievous smile to add to her beauty. Her skin glowed in the evening sun that broke into the room through the seaside window. She came walking with the most subtle feminine panache I had ever seen in my life to greet me... I melted inside. I spoke as normally as I could totally blown away by her simplistic features. The most simple and beautiful face god would have had ever made. What a fatal combination it was..!!! We started off a series of session from there on. She was an intelligent girl who liked reading and was musically inclined. She was spiritual, kind and helpful too. She introduced me to Bob Dylan's music and I must thank her for this. We shared spiritual thoughts in between our sessions and also spoke of everyday life, friendship, work, music and books.

The Realization...

She was a daughter of an affluent corporate honcho and belonged to the high society. Her friends were the most affluent you could ever think of. She hung out with them and was comfortable in that sphere of life. Once, she dressed so fine to go out for dinner to one of the most expensive restaurant in the city with her friends that I envied them. It was the first time in my life I thought to myself that, "If I could only have that kind of money....". Then, as I spent more time with her I slowly started to realize that I cant make her mine. I was invisible in her world. And when I realized how illogical and impossible it was for her to be mine, it broke my heart. She was so untouchable that it made me feel mediocre and the road to win her looked astronomical. The predicament was that I liked the only girl in the world which I might never get. I spoke about her to my friends and even they know how much I loved her. They tell me that money is worthless in such affairs and that I could still win her but I know life isn't a motion picture. Its true, brutal and unfair. But I don't know if life still has more surprises for me. All I can do is pray and keep my fingers crossed, listening to Bob Dylan's "Don't think twice, its all right....". And I still look forward to her sessions when ever I get the opportunity because even they have dried out with time. The irony of this interaction is, she taught me that I can fall in love again. I am working hard, you know... to get there, where I wouldn't hesitate to ask her the question and hoping that she still be around. As again in the words of Bob Dylan, "The answer is blowing in the wind...."