The Tree Of Life....

Wake up.

Its going away,

Walking on into the next day.

Wake up.

It’s reaching far,

On the way from where we are.

It’s begun.

Too slow,

It shall vanish to grow.

It’s begun.

I hear,

Like breeze blowing by my ears.

So happy,

She looks,

By hook or by crook.

So happy,

It stays,

But then it’s going away.

Its unreal,

You wont see,

But I know you’ll believe me.

It’s unreal,

It will feed,

Then it will wither away into the creed.

Believe me,

Wake up. It’s begun.

So happy. Its unreal.

Blue Moon

this is the most impossible thing.

its so impossible that its not possible. this is weird isnt it?

but i tell you its possible to experience your whole life pass in front of your eyes in a split second.

not this.

this is weird.

even if you see this happen, no one will be around and you'd be the only one.

so again no one will believe you.

but its a fact, a jigsaw no one can fix.

a color no one can see.

a touch no one can sense.

but its inevitable. all will see it happen. everyone of us has seen it. so many times.

that we just dont see it anymore.

this makes it impossible to happen.

did you see that happen...!!!!



I Did..

ignorance aint bliss.... always...



UNFAIR-JUSTICE-CORRUPT-MONEY-BLUE MOON

(every one applaud)

Miscommunicated ....

Mangesh: oye...!! shaista... howdy??


Sheikh: i am good.. hows u???


Mangesh: long tym man.... arey am doin super


Shaista: long tym for wat??


Mangesh: arey i didn gave u a buzz about the advt thingy lol....

confused lil thing i was then

i still remeber i sat wid a notepad and a pen to tok to u... lol

jottin down points like mad


Shaista: i guess ur confusing me wid sum1 else..

i m shaista from wilson college..

Mangesh: oh is...!!! ooops... damn.. really srry


Shaista: u performed in polaris so hence i send u a frnd request..


Mangesh: lol... i knw i knw... omg... m blushing


Shaista: thats kkk.... heheheehee... but u were amazing...


Mangesh: yaeh she is shaista vaishnav... lol.. damn.. hey thnx

thnx a ton man it was by far the most fun gig we ever did


Shaista: great... i njoyed a lot...


Mangesh: hehe... we'd like to play again at wilson man... we'd love to


Shaista: sure.. vl c u soon...


Mangesh: kk.. ciao
Shaista: bye....

The Orchard Of Sins...

She guides me in..
Into the orchard of sins..
A stranger I am to this
Discovering the primary bliss..

I gaze at the million sights
Weird senses and lights alike
I see myself in the mirror
Raw green in colour..

I indulge in the orchards offering
Under the tree
That she spread over me
And the shade set me free

Like calm monsoon breeze
Dark and moist in its flight
She engulfed my nature
And planted the seeds in me

Now the nature takes its course
Where she ends and I begin
The vines take shape and run deep
Bear fruits of sin… bliss

In the orchard of sins
You taste sweet... You cave in
You change and then begin
A game only devils win

I see the shades around and….
I stray into the wilderness
To taste fruits
Of another kind

I turn behind to see
My shade withering
O…!! The leaves crumpling
The vines receding

I consume
More than I need
Couldn’t taste
But I still feed

Nothing but obsolete
Nothing but insipid
Nothing but flesh
Nothing but mess

Lost now… In the orchard
And its wilderness
Im just an animal
And its you and its all I need

But you withered away
Not by your virtue
But by the extravagance
Of others shade

Now its just me
Without a shade
And with no home now
The orchard is wilderness

And now I keep straying
And now I keep screaming
And now I am lost
And now I am all around

The orchard bears new fruits
And I keep pulling the noose
An animal feeding around
Will never find the shade will never stay…

I look back at the withered brown
And I weep
And I keep… Secrets with me
Will never be heard... Will always be lost

I wait now.. Can anybody find me..?
A sinner waiting to be free
In the orchard of primary bliss
Where the prisoners are sealed with a kiss…

Nostalgia..

oh.... no.....!!!

sooo..... low...???

running....... and running

changes come again...

let me get away....

far and wide....

i think she'll come...

again...

stars will shine...

heavens bell... will toll..

i think ill cry...

let me cry...

let me be...

i will seep into her skin....

changes.... profound...

i think ill love you..

again...

if you come...

maybe...

stars will shower...

my memories...

again...

i think she'll come...

i think she'll come.....

maybe...

i will seep into her skin....

oh.... no.....!!

not again...

pain.

The doors open when twilight ends...

(Please read this blog while listening to Radiohead's "Motion Picture Soundtrack" from the album "Kid A".)

Through the aura of white light... controlled feelings emerge into the sky. Children in white robes play at night... under the stars and faces bright. There are portals to another dimension.. we dont know about. There are times... the doors are adjar. And the aura seeps through.... But.... we are blind and cant decipher the light to be true....

There are men & women, all happy and content... bodies in white robes, subtle calm & a pleasant chill in the air. The skies are clear and beautiful. Moon emnates its soft yellow onto the waves crashing against the moss covered rocks. Eyes wide open... but... I still cannot catch the extravagance.

Everything is free.
Everything is free.
Everything is free.

There are colors, deep down in my head... which... color a world when eyes are shut. Colors so dark & full... they are invisible.

How will you see...? ..... .... ....... because you cannot see the light seeping through that door... there...

Can you see... it..? You dont.

Once you enter that door, everything will slow down... your eyes wide open are actually... half closed... All are laden with peace & ....love. All the faces, so simple, that they seem beautiful... Barefoot, I take steps into the garden of 'Dance'. Beats and rhymes to which all sway to... the grass wet with dew and cold with the air... calms... the skin... makes you feel so good... The grass, the grass so soft & smooth....

Everyone is dancing, swaying, holding close.... A fragrance plays a cruel game of hide and seek... I chase the fragrance to... & fro. The fragrance submerges all the senses & fills you incomplete. As I chase the smell... through the rhymes & beats... bodies and dancing feet... she holds me back... and I... stand tall... still... and relax.. the fragrance ever increasing behind me. I close my eyes and turn behind to see her... body so warm... I rest my head on her breasts... I lay, and sway to the rhyme & beats that reverberates off... the bodies that... sway...

She welcomes me into the dark haven of sins galore. A drop of her sweat and I... belong, now to another world.. another dimension... Bodies now, half naked & some naked.... bare. Music rhymes a different beat and they sway now... to n' fro... feelings emnate through every face...

All become one.

All become invinsible.

All become.... surreal.

All are lost as I am.

There are faces behind every mask... there are faces under every skin... there are faces in those feelings... there are faces hidden...

But once you step into that door... the faces will come to life... no matter how far... deep... invisible... they are. They surface... but it was never about revealing these faces but to envisage the fears behind them.

I will come back... here.

I hope I can take you too.... sometime... But you are laden with fear. There is this sin you need to commit... Its not a sin... its a fear... its not a sin.... its that door within... that you cant see... Come with me, if you can.... face the fears.... face the surfacing of your crimson self... The doors open again when twilight ends... and... you begin...

The road... and its ways..

I run hard to dodge the two horid beasts that are chasing me. I cut a sharp right and stumble upon a wooden pew in the dark ally. The night is at its fullest bloom and death chasing me down in the moonlight as the rains drench me to the bone. I look behind to see if the beasts are still on my trail and to my horror the distance between them and me is shrinking by the second. I could sense the cold death nearing. Just a matter of few seconds and ill be done. Gasping for breath I run for my life. Heart pounding against my ribs and blood gushing every single vein in my body. The beasts are now about to make their final leap and just then.....

BEEP BEEP.... BEEP BEEP.... BEEP BEEP....

The Alarm clock showed 4:30 AM (Snooze/Dismiss)....

I wake up with bloodshot eyes to dismiss the alarm and lay on my bed thinking about the dream. With messed up hair I get out of my bed to the cold early morning breeze at the window to stare at the stars still twinkling bright in the night. The moon was nowhere in sight in the sky. I walked into the wash room to soak my face with cold water and get myself ready for the recording that begins at 6 AM sharp at Spectral Harmony.

"Ashwin was supposed to wake me up..." I pondered, as I searched for my cell to buzz him and wake him up incase he would still be dreaming the night away.

"Ashwin.... its me.. are you up dude...?"

"Yeah dude.. I was just gonna call you up.. but whatever.."

"5:30 at the station right....?"

"Yeah Mango.. Sharp at 5:30. Borivli Station. Dont be late yaar...!! Please.."

"No I wont. I'll make it before time. See you there"

I looked around in the empty room which was filled with silence and spotted my towel. I headed off for a shower and let cold water gush over me. The chill helped me shrug away all the lethargy and rocked my senses back to normalcy. I dressed up and snatched a packet of muffins from the cupboard and dumped it in my bag. I took the keys and started digging my drawer for a pair of socks. Struggling hard to find one I removed my slippers and left them near the sofa. I didnt have an option but to wear the already worn out chappals. I looked behind to give a final glance at the house before locking it shut. I loaded my shoulder with my black six stringer and flipped my carry bag alongside with its belt coming right across my torso. I pulled the door shut and stepped out in the dark.
I walked the bumpy road, with shrill dullness as thousand thoughts cut through my mind. The road to make the band was so relevant to that road which I was treading. I walked the lane which was shrouded with bellowing darkness and my feet rubbed harshly to the uneven mixture of gravel and sand giving out the typical rugged sounds. I remembered the time when the band was just a thought and from that little dream to making it possible was such an effort. As I walked with my shadow falling right in front of me I could see the reflection of all that I had sacrificed for making it happen. That cold morning I realised how uncertain the future was. I didnt know where this journey would end. And how long will it make me walk. But the fact remains that the band did come up, it did shine, it did make its way, through the hoard of other bands. It was an accomplishment of sorts. As I reached the end of the by-lane and halted a cab to head me off to the station, I knew this was worth giving a shot. The band had seen so much, but it stood strong. Because it had a purpose and the purpose is... that you never give up. You never let go. Things happen and you can make them happen. Even through the darkness 'We' walked. The journey has begun but its far from over and I wont quit. I wont stop walking. I wont look back, eventhough the road is bumpy and dusty it still has given me a way. My way. Coshish.

Every note that we ever played, every song that we ever made, every fuck-up that we detested, it was worth it. And I knew, at that very point when I was on my way to the station, there would be someone, somwhere, conceptualising a new dream, that would be worth a try. And I hoped he would make the worthy choice. He would not let go of it, but grab it with both hands and realise it. Because there are somethings that we do as they have a reason, some, because they are obligations, while there are a few things that we do because we are responsible but there are only a handful of things that we do not because they have a reason or obligation or responsibility, but because thats what we love to do, thats where the passion flows in, thats where reasoning ends and freedom begins. I have no reason why I did Coshish, I had no expectations from it, I dont have a logical explanation as to why did I sacrifice so many things for it. All I can say is that, I am glad that I did it. And after all that people say after listening to it, all the opinions good, bad or ugly, are things set in motion by it. Honestly, you dont care, because you know what you have created is not synthetic congregation of notes or random accumulation of words but it is every drop of passion that you could ever collect and punch it in a song. Thats as simple as it gets. The mixture of passion, love, freedom, fear and fire drips down like a droplet into one creation.
For anyone who might come across this, look inside of you and see where is that small dream lying. Find it, something that you always wanted to do but you let it go for things more sane but those that you never did like or enjoy. Its just one life, and you have that one dream, give it one shot, and see.... The road is bad and bumpy but its a road which has a way... Take it.